Russian Roulette
by BrosOfDaHart
Summary: The rescue crew travel across the sea and have various adventures.
1. The Beginning

_**Ok guys so my friend and i wrote this well **__we wrote it on a peace of parchment BUT THEN_ **she had to throw it away in the sea **and i am writing this from the way i remember it. it is not full there used to be around 15 chapters but i cant remember half of the stuff lol.

Is was a very sunny day here in Port Royal. He was prepaering something for the ship, because he wanted to fing Jack and the Pearl to go with him on the Octorber Fest. Elizabeth was so jelaous of Jack because she likes Will and his flippy hair. Barbossa wants to come with duje because he and Jax are bros of the heart.

The rescue crew wanted to have some fun so they stole the Fleewing Datchman and flew away to Germany. Daisy Jones was also there. Anyway they was october and time for octoberfest . The fat lady from the beggining of da 3rd movie was a waitress. Szhe brouth some beer. Jack was singing:  
"Hoy gurlies from da forest dresses to da booties." in an irish accent. He is actually english but sounds irish when drunk.

TO B CONTINUED


	2. The October Fest

Anyway Barbarossa and Will were talking how to suduce Jack and Elton John was singing. Than appeared some gurl holding 10 beers and said

"I AM A WOMAN".

it was… Tia Dalma! than Jack came to their and took a beer. there was a sea star inside!

"Bootstrap Biff must be here" he said. Than she told him:  
"If you don't want it give it back." But he took it.

Rhan Will wasa suduced by Jack and they went into the wardrobe. Elizabeth tried to stop them but then came Tia Dalmatian and said:  
"Is there something on ur mind modafuka?"

Barsossa wanted to become a singer and he partied hard like Ke$ha. Anyway Pintel, Raggetti, Penelope and some mermaids were playing twitser . Jack and steve came out of the wardrobe (closet). THan Penelope said she might be ready for her sex chance operation . Than came Dasy jones and said that in scotland thei don't drink beer they drink whiskey. Anyway a song from avril lavigne started playing


	3. Heart Shaped Box

Elizabeth was very jelaous and of jack and she tried to stop them but than came tia and asked if there is something on her mind motherfucker? Anyway Lana del rey was singing. Everywan was all happy.  
Then came a very old wise man and told them that there is a man who wants to suck the sea out for his own evil purposes and they must go to a quest to stop him. He sayd they must go to the Island and there they will find more informations.  
Anyway lizzy was married to the kraken but then they got divorced because he dound out he was a lesbian and then she got married to the penelope even tho she didn't like her. Penelope was so sad she ate the star in that was in bootstrap beef's beer and became fat in a minute.  
They were sailing on their awesome boat and came to a very gloomy bar on an island. It was a very scary dark place. Then Tia dalkma said "Im sorry my business partner is here, i must go and meet him". Everyone stayed and looked around.  
Then they saw kurt kobain singing on the stade and she started to cry and pee (had a little problem that needed to be solved) and sayd "Hello everyone. This is Heartshapedbox, he is my business partner and friend." heartshapedbox told them that they must travel to a place called Port Elizabeth.


	4. Port Elizabeth

Wool didn't like the fact they had to go to port Elizabeth because the name reminded him of his ex girlfriend who scared him very much, but he did it bor john.

When they were sailing they encountered the flying dutchman (they got the ship back after the octoberfest) and there he was, Cutslut, standing very sadly and looking dreamy into the sea.

Then some wales appeared and starded jumping seductivly in the see and he jumped inside and started dancing with them

Anyway on port Elizabeth, there was a maskenbal in the club. Jack and will where a mermaid and the handsome prince (guess who was who Lolz) , barbossa was kesha (DUH) and others where there. Then came tia and some handsome man dressed in a greek outfit and he had a trident.  
"oh hey every1 dis is my husband, Pussy" - she said  
"actually my name is Poseidon, nice to meet you doodz" - said the man.

"Oh i didnt no you had a husband" - said jack .

Then some ship flew right into the room and out of it came daisy singing

"YOU can see my heart its beatinggg" (its a song from rihanna btw) .


	5. Cutler

It was a mutual day.  
They were still sailing hopelessly. Heartshapedboxxo told them thet they must go to scottland, in an eager port.

MEANWHILE

Penelope and lizzy where planning… planning… lizzy was planning to take wool back and penelope was planning to kill will because she loved lizzy. she was her first girlfriend .

Meanwhile over there, in scotland.

They were walking down the city when suddenly a very sexy woman with blonde hair and yellow outfit appeared. she was holdin a sword and saying she will kill Will .

it was… UMA TURBAN (epic plot twist)

"OHNO WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE" - will huged jack .

just as the things couldn't get any worse, penelope and lizzy appeared and then even the flying dutchman crew came.

lizzy kidnapped will and it was very sad and cutslutt was there also sad but there was something.

Cutslut was very sad because he wanted to be a whale and come back to the see with his family, but he didn't know how to do it, thats why he needed tia said he doesn't want gay whales in his sea so he didn't like him.

Dasy was singing "who do you think you are collecting ur jars of heart" lol i dunno whos song is that probably his because it fits

Then lana del rey came. Flying on her carpet and told them STOP FIGHTING! YOU ARE ALL HERE FOR ONE CAUSE . YOU MUST GO TO YEMEN, THERE IS A WOMAN WHO CAN HELP YOU TO FIND THE MAN WHO WANTS TO SUCK THE SEA.

she banished the flying dutchmen and the lizzy and the rescue crew sailed woridly.


	6. Sacrifice

While they were sailing, Barbossa was holding a presentation about safetyness while sailing.  
The arrived.  
It was a verry deserty land. they saw a woman wearing a black turban . she had black misty eyes.

she waved her hand and invited them into her hut.

She told them… Hello. My name is…..

Lyla.(leila)

"I sense a godly presence" she said looking at jack. but it was the monkey jack . "To defeat the man who wants to suck the sea out you must….. NO! she yelled.

"I sense an evel spirit" when she said that, a flying craft flew into the house, but it was not the flying dutchman…. it was pemnelope and lizzy!

"OH NO we must run quickly !" -Said jack and they went

jack and will ran away and left the rest of the crew to fight alone. meanwhile tia dalma was at the sea. she saw someone

"look im going to have a baby im pregnant and im not a whale yet please you have to help mr " sait Slutler Fuickett.

but than he started to have a baby and tia looked very worried and Leila came and she helped him . Than tia did a sacred ritual and turned him insto a whale, but than she loosed her goldy powers and became a human.

"oh noez!" sad she.

When she and lyla returned the rescue crew was there, but not lizzy penelope will or jack. they were all very tierd .

Meanwhile…

meanwhile… lizzy and pepi were kidnapping wool and jack…. TO RUSSIA.


End file.
